


Hey, you demon fuck!

by TransparentSheepDeer



Series: Let's not wipe out humanity this time m'kay? [2]
Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Aged-Up Character(s), Awkwardness, Canon: Devilman Crybaby, Intersex Asuka Ryo, M/M, More Realistic Reaction to Someone Claiming Demons Exist, Pre-Amon Akira, Slow Updates, Smoking, Some Fluff, Some Humor, Swearing, Trans Fudo Akira, Trans Male Character, but he is trying, ryo is low-key panicking about having feelings, they're 18
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2019-08-02 15:39:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16307945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TransparentSheepDeer/pseuds/TransparentSheepDeer
Summary: After procrastinating for nearly a month and a half, Ryo finally tells Akira about demons. But things don't go as smoothly as Ryo planned, because Akira has the audacity to prioritize passing his classes over an enemy he hasn't seen before.Sure, they can go to the Sabbath later too, but who knows if it won't be too late.And also, Ryo has to socialize a lot in the meantime, and he really doesn't want to.





	1. Maths and Hypotheses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Triggers/squicks, extended:  
> \- swearing: the entire fic has them, unavoidable  
> \- smoking: see the end notes to know where they are; otherwise it's only mentioned 3x until the first horizontal line  
> \- mention of drugs: one line, see the end notes  
> \- short flashback: Fikira's death, one line; see end notes
> 
>  **Summary of the previous work:** Akira  & Ryo went on a date. The details will be referenced, but a lot of things mentioned in this work are new info.

It was three in the fucking morning. Ryo was staring down the clock, watching it change to 3:01.

Tuesday. Two days left.

Akira still didn’t know what was about to go down.

Ryo needed to tell him.

He couldn’t stop thinking about it. It occurred to him why he had wanted to get it over with so soon in the first place: so he didn’t have the time to think, to consider, to calculate.

Or back out.

He turned around in his bed, took the sheet between his legs, welcoming the coolness of the fabric. He tried closing his eyes, just in case his brain decided to finally shut the fuck up.

It did not.

His mind was filled with images of bodies ripped in half, walls coated in blood, the smell of death lingering in the air-

They appeared in his nightmares, too.

Forget sleep.

Ryo flung the blanked to the other side of the bed. He turned on the lamp on his nightstand, the sudden brightness almost blinding him. He stood up, eyes closed, and went to the kitchen.

He grabbed the thicker one of his coats, then opened the drawer where he kept his cigarettes and lighter. He put one into his mouth, fidgeted with the lighter as he went out to the pool.

The wind, little asshole, decided to blow just underneath his shirt, right where it made him shiver. Ryo put the box into his pocket, hastily buttoning his coat up. Fuck the wind.

He leaned against the rail, exhaling a puff of smoke, his mind finally blank. Ryo wondered if the weird rushing he always heard at this ungodly hour was the distinct sound of machines, or his own brain making up something to make up for the silence. He never could tell.

Whenever he lost sleep because of him, he thought of Akira.

Ryo had an awfully hard time saying 'no' to him.

It was the reason he had procrastinated an entire month since he returned to Japan. If it had been up to him, they would have gone to the Sabbath on the day they had reunited, but Akira had other ideas. Ryo was so happy to see him again he thought he could wait one day. He only wanted to catch up, listen to Akira telling him about his life.

But then Akira had suggested he showed him around. Ryo didn't know how to tell him about demons or about his plan, not when Akira's eyes were shining so brightly every time he agreed to spend another evening with him.

 _Of course I can come see you at track._  
_Of course you can show me around your school._  
_Of course we'll go to your favourite bookstore._

And so on and so forth.

The issue was: hanging out with Akira all the time made Ryo notice... _things_.

Like when they were walking in the park, and seeing all those couples made him consider holding Akira's hand. And, and, it was so strange. Why would he want to hold his hand? It wouldn't make that much of a difference. They would still be walking and talking, they would only... hold hands while doing it, it was such a little thing, and yet for some reason he had considered- _wanted_ to do it. The fact that they _did_ hold hands last time they met only complicated things further.

On the third week, Ryo had finally mustered the courage to tell Akira about demons.

Or, he planned to. He could only ask him to come to that damn party, because Akira had asked him a question that he never thought he'd hear.

They had been at his apartment, Ryo showing Akira around. Akira had been amazed. They had messed around with the TV, Ryo showing him various functions, like being able to watch YouTube and Netflix-

Ryo doesn't remember the exact details after that. What they were doing in that two minutes (or five? ten?) before Akira asked him out. Really, he didn't remember what words he used, how he said them, what Akira's face looked like when he asked it, the only thing he remembered is that his mind has gone blank for a full minute, his only thoughts being:

_Akira is romantically interested in me. Huh._

He just- _What_

He remembered his mouth moving on autopilot, saying:

"Sure."

Meanwhile, his mind was chanting _What are you doing what are you doing what are you doing-_

He had no idea what he was doing. Absolutely no idea.

He had spent the next week stressing over this. He had been so preoccupied with it he almost bought himself a book about dating etiquette.

All this stress for a date that... Ryo wasn't sure how to describe it. It didn't go wrong; quite the opposite. But it was just so- the whole thing was- well the only thing Ryo can say for sure is that he had no fucking idea what was going on in his head. Not before Akira asked him out, not after, not during the date, and certainly not now.

The fact that they had held hands and kissed just complicated things further, because Ryo lik- enjo- well, he, uh, certainly didn't feel _repulsed_ by those.

The kiss had caught him entirely off guard. It was the only act they had done that was _undeniably_ romantic and he didn’t- he couldn’t- what was he supposed to...?

It did not help that every time he thought of the kiss he was reminded of the feeling of Akira being _that_ close to him, reminded of his _gentleness_ ; a gentleness Ryo was unfamiliar with, one he wasn’t sure how to reciprocate.

His own enthusiasm to kiss Akira had surprised Ryo, too. He never thought he would be capable of making the first move- okay, technically, it was _Akira_ who asked to kiss first, but-

He hasn’t only been excited about the _kiss_. He had straight up _flirted_ with Akira. He _really_ had done that. And _meant_ it. Ryo wished he knew what had overcome him, what made him so fearless in those moments. Had it been Akira? What was Ryo supposed to do with this information...?

It was like Akira had pushed a button on Ryo, a button that made Ryo behave in ways foreign to him. Like he was handed a Rubik’s cube that changed the colors every five seconds just to fuck with him, so that when he thought he was finally getting somewhere, the whole thing got jumbled up again.

The chill air made him shiver again, so he tossed the forgotten cigarette over the rail, and retreated inside. Instantly, there were dark spots dancing in front of his eyes – it meant that he could finally get some sleep.

He sat on the couch. He wanted to take his coat off, but he was way too tired to actually do it. He settled for laying down for a minute or two, he was not in the mood to climb the stairs.

As he stared at the ceiling, it occurred to him that _this_ was the place where Akira sat with him, holding hands while they watched Netflix.

He closed his eyes, hands across his chest. Thinking of Akira always made him fall asleep with ease.

* * *

He ended up falling asleep on the couch, feeling just as exhausted as before. Sharp pain shot through his neck as he attempted to raise his head. He groaned, massaging the spot, pressing his eyes together.

He needed to talk to Akira. _Now_.

Through great efforts, he got up from the couch. Where was his phone? He looked around. It wasn’t here. Bedroom? He would have to climb the stairs. Ugh.

He _really_ needed to talk to Akira, though.

Okay, okay, fine.

He needed exactly two minutes to actually get up and climb the stairs. The whole time he wanted to groan, but due to his lack of energy, he settled for sighs every now and then.

He looked around in his bedroom. His bed was a mess. He couldn’t see the phone, though, while he could swear he had left it on the nightstand.

Ryo groaned. Seriously? All that work, and the phone wasn’t even here? Where was it, then?

He realized where he had gone wrong.

He had left it on the coffee table yesterday.

“Fuck,” he muttered.

He went back to the living room (which was simultaneously the kitchen and the dining room too, sure, why not, Ryo _totally_ wasn’t pissed about it), and sure enough, the phone was laughing in his face from the coffee table.

Ryo let himself fall down onto the couch, grabbing the device. He pushed a button.

Nothing.

Well this was just fucking great.

Next question: where was his charger?

Obviously, not where he left it. It took about ten minutes to find it, and then, Ryo realized he could only plug it in _and_ use it in the bedroom, so he had to go back again.

The fact that it was already noon didn’t really help his case. There were less than 72 hours left until the Sabbath, and Akira didn’t know a _single_ thing-

Finally settled in bed, phone (2%) in his hand, Ryo dialled Akira’s number, putting him on speaker. Briefly, he wondered if Akira was in class right now. Or if he even had his phone with him. After he heard the fourth chime, he started planning how he’d go visit him.

Ryo was just about to give up when Akira picked up:

“Hey, Ryo-chan.”

A calm smile formed on Ryo’s face.

“Akira.”

It was the first time he heard his voice since last week. Should he chat now? Oh, no, wait, he called him to tell him about demons.

“Can we talk? _Now_?”

“I’m having lunch right now.”

That explained the background noise.

“After you finished eating?”

“Dude, I’m having lunch at _school_.”

Ryo pinched his nose. “ _After_ school, then?”

“Well, uh, I’m busy. Miko is coming over to study with us.”

Who the hell was Miko?

“Akira, I really need to talk to you.”

“And I really need to pass the next maths test. I don’t have a degree, _like some people_.” Ryo could hear the smile in Akira’s voice.

“Will it really take that long?”

“Well, if it’s that important, you could always come over and help out.” Akira’s voice was nonchalant. “We also plan to study English and history. Otherwise I’m free at six or seven or something.”

If Ryo waited that long it would drive him mad. “I can help you out with English,” he offered.

“Great! We’ll be home around three.” Akira paused. “What do you want to talk about, though?”

This was the part where Ryo realized they hadn’t really talked about... _that_ , yet. And he didn’t have any clue about how it was supposed to be talked about, either.

“Uh...” _Shit._ “It’s about Thursday.”

“Oh.” Even Akira couldn’t hide his disappointment this time. “Thursday. Yeah, about that. I kind of have a _huge_ test on Friday, and I wondered if we could reschedule.”

Absolutely not.

“We’ll talk about it in person, alright?”

“Sure.”

Right after they said goodbye it occurred to Ryo that he had no idea where Akira lived. Quickly, he rang him up again, face hot, to ask him. Akira had laughed in the phone while dictating, and Ryo had to restrain himself from telling him how embarrassed that made him feel. Why was it that Akira could demolish his defences so easily?

After ending the call, Ryo placed the phone on the nightstand.

Collective studying. If that’s what he had to endure in order to talk to Akira, so be it.

* * *

He had so many regrets about this.

First of all, he didn’t know who would be there with Akira. Was it just this Miko girl and the other one, or was it more people? Second of all, he decided to google some English grammar rules (if he was going to help out in front of strangers, he was coming prepared), and it turned out _speaking_ a language was very different from knowing the _grammar rules_. If someone had asked him when the past perfect was used he’d reply “Fuck if I know, just use it correctly.”

Ryo was sitting in the car, a block away from Akira’s place. He brought his laptop with him. He had bookmarked a shit-ton of sites that explained grammar rules; hopefully he could use them.

It was 2:45 pm. He hadn’t seen Akira or anyone else enter or leave the house, but he didn’t want to risk having to meet Akira’s foster parents on his own. If no one showed up in until 3:00 pm., he was bailing.

No one showed up until 3:01 pm. Ryo was screaming internally. Why? Why couldn’t they be on time? His fingers tightened around the steering wheel.

3:02 pm.

3:03 pm.

He’ll call him now. He fished out the phone from his pocket, fumbling. Was this really the time for it to start lagging? Just open the damn contact list, it was literally-

Someone knocked on his window, and it scared Ryo so much he jumped in his seat. He turned to the person with a glare, which was gone as soon as he recognized a snickering Akira.

The usual white school uniform, messy hair, big smile, yet it felt like Ryo was seeing him for the first time again, his mind clouded by happiness.

He tried looking collected while pulling the window down. “Yes?”

Akira leaned down to look him in the eye, grinning. “You coming in with us or are you comfortable in your car?”

 _Us_. Yes, there were two girls standing behind Akira. From the looks of it, they hadn’t payed attention to Ryo’s heart-attack.

“I-I’m coming,” Ryo sputtered.

He grabbed his laptop and climbed out. He wondered if the smile on Akira’s face was specifically because of him, or if it was his everyday look. One girl – Makimura? – was examining him with a scowl, the other with disinterest.

Maybe he should introduce himself. He stepped forward, extending his hand.

“Asuka Ryo.”

Reluctantly, the angry girl shook his hand. “Makimura.”

“Kuroda,” the other girl said, voice quiet.

Ryo nodded politely, and her name escaped him the moment they weren’t touching.

Awkward silence followed.

“So,” Akira clasped his hands together, looking around. “Let’s go inside!”

Makimura took the lead, the other girl went beside her. Ryo wanted to follow, but Akira held out his arm.

“Wait.”

Ryo blinked at him. Why?

Akira’s arm only retreated when the other two had reached the house. He looked at Ryo, Ryo looked back, confused, then even more confused when Akira put a hand on his shoulder. Then leaned closer. And pecked Ryo on the cheek.

Ryo was caught off guard by the sudden affection. He stared into Akira’s eyes, unable to form any rational thought. He felt like he needed to say something, but-

“ _Are you two coming or not?_ ” Makimura shouted at them.

Akira flicked his hand in her direction. “ _Give us a minute_ ,” he shouted back.

“It’s fine,” Ryo said. “We can, uh, continue after we’re finished studying.”

They made their way to the house, too. As Ryo was stepping out of his coat, he realized every single thing he had learned during his own crash course went down the drain. Now, his focus was on the spot where Akira’s lips had been. (He _swore_ it still felt warm...)

He heard Not-Makimura ask: “Aren’t your parents home?”

“They’re out until six,” Makimura replied. She was making place on the table, setting the decorations away.

“I’ll go get my stuff,” Akira muttered. Ryo watched him struggle with his shoelaces, then give up, and just pull the shoes off. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Ryo didn’t want to be left alone with the other two. He had no idea what he was supposed to say to them.

He approached the table with the intent to find the chair that had the most distance between him and those two. The table was wide enough for them to set out books on both sides. Which meant Ryo would have to take a seat close to them. Question was: Whom should he be facing?

The girl who seemed to hate him for some reason, or the one whose name he didn’t remember?

Thankfully, both girls were occupied by searching for their textbooks to notice his hesitancy. He settled for sitting opposite Not-Makimura.

He started up his laptop. At least that way he didn’t directly have to look at anyone. Well, mainly Not-Makimura. He could see Makimura’s scowl from the corner of his eye. What was her problem, exactly?

“ _What should we start with_?” Akira shouted from upstairs. A dozen of hard _thump_!-s followed, then he came into sight with an insane amount of books.

Makimura looked at her exercise book. “English, I guess. That’s something we all equally suck at. No offense,” she added, glancing at Ryo.

“None taken,” he muttered.

“Sure.” Akira got around the table, and fucking _dropped_ the books onto the hard surface. For a moment, Ryo feared the table would crumble under its weight. “And then we’ll get to maths.”

“Yeah.”

It wasn’t as horrible as Ryo expected. Akira showed him their homework exercises along with the grammar rules they had gotten (it _was_ the damn past perfect tense). One by one, the three of them tried solving the tasks. They basically only needed him to correct their answers, so they were done in 30 minutes – he didn’t even need his laptop.

Being here with... other people, _of the same age_ , was odd. Ryo wasn’t used to it. He didn’t know how to do this, and it definitely showed: At times, he’d be given a confused look, and he just couldn’t pinpoint _why_.

He remembered that one semester in college when they had a group of German exchange students. They all had insisted on forming ‘study groups’ or whatever, because ‘that was how they did it back in Germany’. Ryo was offered a place in one of those groups, he would have been the sixth member along with people who mostly took the same classes as him.

He had rejected it. He had been sixteen at the time, and he didn’t want a group of twenty-somethings acting like his parents.

Right now, though, sitting here with Akira and the other two, he felt a pang of regret. Maybe he should have gone to at least _one_ meeting...

It was too late to mull over it; next up was maths. Ryo tried peaking at Akira’s exercise book to see what they were learning. Akira noticed, and put it so he could see it too.

“We’re at ... right now,” he said.

“Where?”

Akira said it again.

“What?”

He still couldn’t understand what Akira said. Regardless, Ryo gave a nod, as if he did.

Apparently, Not-Makimura was the expert in this field. “How’d your test go?”

Makimura placed a sheet of paper in front of her. “I got 31%, but I have no idea where I went wrong.”

Not-Makimura studied her paper with a frown.

“Sorry, my handwriting is kinda messy,” Makimura apologized.

“It’s fine,” Not-Makimura murmured. After examining the test for another moment, she gave it back. “What did you get?” she asked Akira

Akira sighed. “16%. The thing is, I understand when it’s _explained_ for me, but when I’m on my own I’m just _lost_.”

Not-Makimura nodded. “Okay. Let’s go over the basics, then.”

Ryo laid low. From the looks of it, the topic had something to do with geometry. It had a lot of text.

He listened to the three of them solving basic exercises, but the thing was; the only reason he knew they were basic was because Not-Makimura _had said so._ No matter how hard he tried listening or analysing the sentences, he just couldn’t understand what the task was. He either understood the words separately, or not at all.

He had learned maths in _English_ , not in Japanese. Sure, basic words like addition and subtraction were no trouble, but when it came to full sentences and that very specific vocabulary, he was lost. As far as Ryo was aware, maths didn’t _exist_ in Japanese.

Everything was fine until they got to a task none of them could solve. Or; everything was _fine_ , until Akira decided to include _Ryo_ in the solving part too.

“Hey, didn’t you say you were good at maths?”

Ryo’s heart started racing, the rhythm panicky. “No.”

Akira frowned at his exercise book. “Didn’t you like, major in maths?”

“No, I majored in programming. I only _minored_ in maths.” Ryo should not have said that.

“Major, minor, same thing!” Akira put his book in front of him. “Can you help solve it? Please?”

Ryo stared at the paper, his throat tightening. He read the task over and over and over again, eyes darting from line to line, but it was no use; he just _couldn’t_ understand it.

“What...” His voice came out as a squeak. He cleared his throat. “Which part do you not understand, exactly?” he asked, looking around.

Not-Makimura frowns. “Well... We have this bottle, but we don’t know how much liquid it contains.”

Ryo wished they had a diagram attached. “And?”

Makimura gave him an annoyed look. “How do we solve it?”

Ryo looked back at her in a similar manner. “Maybe if I knew the measurements I’d tell.”

“It is _literally_ written there.”

“Why can’t _you_ solve it, then?”

“Aren’t _you_ the one with a degree in this shit?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Akira raised his hands. “It’s just a maths problem, guys.”

Not-Makimura tapped her pencil against her chin. “Could you go over our solution, Asuka? Maybe you can find our mistake that way.”

Finally; something that made sense. “Sure.”

Ryo looked at Akira’s booklet. It was hard to decipher for two reasons: One, Akira’s handwriting was hard to read, and two, he didn’t note _what the hell_ he was doing, he just randomly wrote down numbers, left out symbols, and so on.

“What did you do here?” Ryo asked, pointing at the first one. He might as well have gestured at the whole page.

Akira leaned close to him. “Uh... Well, that’s a really good question.”

Not-Makimura handed Ryo her own exercise book. “Here, look at mine. Fudo-kun writes like a monster.”

“No, I don’t!”

Not-Makimura had nice handwriting, and actually wrote out the symbols. Although...

“Why didn’t you draw a figure?”

“A what?”

“You know... to see what the bottle looks like?”

Not-Makimura made a hmm-sound. “Not a bad idea.”

Drawing a figure was the most basic thing to do: after all, this was _geometry_.

Ryo sighed. “Give me a paper and I’ll show you.”

“You can draw in mine,” Akira said. He put his pen in front of him. “At least I’ll have a problem solved correctly.”

Ryo turned a page, clicking the pen. He went over the task again. He caught Makimura glaring at him. He didn’t know what her problem was, but her behaviour only made him spiteful. He looked over the exercise once more.

He could _do_ this.

“‘ _The bottle is made up of two cylindrical and one truncated cone shaped parts_ ’,” Ryo read aloud.

So far, with little difficulties, he understood. He drew the bottle, a small cylinder as the lid, the big one as the bottom, and the truncated cone in the middle.

Not-Makimura tried peeking at his drawing, but she probably couldn’t see it, she got up and sat down next to Ryo. Akira, on his other side, drew closer to him (it was a little distracting).

Makimura was the only one who stayed in her place. She probably didn’t see a thing, but Ryo didn’t care about it.

“So, the...” He glared at that one kanji he didn’t know. “...the measurements-”

“The _inside_ measurements,” Makimura corrected.

“-the inside measurements. ‘ _The bigger cylinder has a diameter of 4 cm and a height of 8 cm. The diameter of the top of the truncated cone is 2 cm, while its slant height is 3 cm._ ’” Ryo needed a little more time to add the values to right sides of the figure. No one corrected him, so he supposed he had done it okay.

“‘ _How many millilitres of liquid can it contain?_ ’”

He looked over Not-Makimura’s notes. Without figures to rely on, he could hardly guess what she was doing with the formulas (or which ones she was using in the first place). He also didn’t remember how the formulas looked like, so he opened up his laptop and googled it. He compared them with her notes.

“Oh.”

“What?” Akira asked.

Ryo pointed at a formula. “You used the wrong formula. You’re supposed to find the _volume_.”

Not-Makimura yanked her exercise book back. “You’re right.”

Of course he was.

Not-Makimura started over, saying her solution aloud. Ryo couldn’t follow, but seeing as she occasionally looked at his laptop, he concluded she got it.

“I think that was enough maths for today,” Akira said. He stretched his arms. “What’s left?”

“History.” Not-Makimura’s voice was filled with dread.

Makimura exhaled. “We could go to my room.”

“What? Why?”

“Because Akira doesn’t have a problem with it, and Asuka probably doesn’t either.”

Akira frowned. “No, it’s actually good if we can go over it again, this chapter was-”

“I don’t think you’ll have a problem with it,” Makimura declared. She slung her backpack over her shoulder and gestured at the other girl with her chin. “Let’s go.” She left without waiting for an answer.

Not-Makimura stared after her. She looked at Akira. “Should I...?”

Akira rubbed his temples. “Yeah, go. It’s okay.”

Ryo didn’t understand what was happening.

When they were alone, he asked: “Is something wrong?”

Akira let out a long sigh. “Sort of. Miki’s just having a bad day. She’s been getting on my nerves lately.”

How was he supposed to reply to that?

Akira covered his face with his hands for a moment as he yawned. “Wanna sit on the couch?”

Ryo nodded. Standing up was a relief; the chairs weren’t too comfortable.

Akira got up with a groan. “I’ll get myself a glass of water, you want anything?”

“No.”

Was this awkward now? Ryo had a hard time telling. He sat on the couch, waiting for Akira. He’s been so caught up in trying to solve their homework he had almost forgotten the original reason he came.

And now, he didn’t know how to break it to him.

Akira dropped himself next to him. “So, about Thursday. Can we reschedule? I got a test on Friday, I’ll need some rest.”

“No, not really.” Ryo leaned forward. “You see, it’s... a lot more complicated than that.”

“How?”

Ryo considered where to start. “Back in August, Fikira and I-“

“Fikira?”

“A professor. Him and I, we went to South America. He died on the trip.” And that’s why we can’t reschedule. Fantastic execution, Ryo.

Akira put his hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no, that’s not the point,” Ryo faced him. “The point is _how_ he died.”

Akira blinked at him, slowly. “I’m not sure I understand.”

Ryo felt the same way. The words just wouldn’t come to him. “Before he died, he turned... hostile, violent. He attempted to murder me that night.”

Akira straightened his back. “What?”

“But I’m fine,” Ryo reassured.

“Yeah, duh.” Akira moved closer to him. “What happened?”

“He set himself on fire. He said something about ‘having to die before losing control’. At the time, I didn’t know what he meant, but now, I think I do.” Ryo took a breath. “ _Demons_.”

The silence that followed was a hit in the face.

“Demons,” Akira deadpanned.

“Demons.”

“Like, actual demons.”

“Exactly.”

“From the Bible?”

“Demons have been depicted all across the globe,” Ryo began. “Not just in the Bible.”

“So you’re... talking about actual, living, breathing, talking demons.”

“I am.”

“And that they had something to do with that Fik-someone’s death.”

“Fikira. Yes.”

“Okay.” Akira put his hands on Ryo’s shoulders. “I need to ask you a serious question.”

“Go ahead.”

“Have you been under the influence of drugs while this happened? One that made you hallucinate?”

Ryo stared at him. “No! Of course not. I’m not making this up, Akira!”

Akira gave him a look. “Okay. Okay.” He started to rub Ryo’s shoulders with his thumbs; the fabric of his shirt made it hard to feel. “Did you... see other demons since that night?”

Ryo didn’t dare look at him. Akira thought he was insane. He pressed his lips together.

“You don’t believe me.”

“I can see that you’re distressed.” Akira tried looking at him, but Ryo didn’t raise his head. “But you have to admit that it’s hard to believe what you’re saying.” When Ryo didn’t say anything, he asked: “Do you need a hug?”

“No. Why would I?”

“You look like you do.”

“No, I don’t.”

Akira sighed. “Then you don’t.”

A few moments passed in silence.

“Do you have any evidence?” Akira asked.

Ryo contemplated. He had his laptop with him-

“Yes.”

He stood up and returned with his device as fast as he could. Akira scooched closer to him as he typed in the password. Ryo could see a sceptic/worried look in his eyes.

He didn’t remember where the file was. It was a video some dude had filmed with a camera... He had gotten a pretty decent shot, too. Ryo was lucky that he had tried to sell it to _him_ \- but humanity wasn’t ready to know about the existence of demons yet.

When the reveal happens, it will be done by Ryo.

The guy was taken care of, but Ryo had no fucking idea where he had saved that shitty video. He tried searching for it- no luck. Which folder _was_ it?

He only realized he had gotten angry when Akira pried his hands away from the keyboard with a gentle “Hey”.

Ryo, taken aback by the sudden touch, yanked his hands from him.

“I’m fine!” he shouted.

“No, you’re not.” Akira shut the laptop. “Let’s calm down a bit, alright? You’ll show me later.”

“You don’t get it,” Ryo growled. “There will be no ‘later.’”

Akira pressed his mouth into a thin line. “Listen, you need to calm down. You’re not _thinking-”_

“Yes, I am, if you just let me show-”

“Ryo-chan, _please_!”

Akira’s cry made him snap out of it. Ryo took a deep breath, covered his eyes. This was _not_ going well.

“Fine, I just... I need you to know about this, we can’t attend without this knowledge.”

“Wait. How does this- What does this have to do with Thursday? Are you talking about Thursday right now?”

“Yes. I am.”

“I don’t see the connection.”

“Demons can enter our realm by-”

“Let me stop you right there.” Akira put his hands together. “Let’s make the hypothesis that demons are real.”

“It’s not a hypothesis, it’s a _fact_.”

“So you say, that _if_ demons are real,” Akira continued, “they can enter our realm by...?”

Ryo sighed. “By possessing humans, by taking over their bodies. It happened to Fikira.”

“How do you know it was Fikira? If the demon has taken him over, wasn’t it technically the demon...?”

“I’m not sure...” Ryo let himself lean back on the couch. “In the beginning, it must have been him... but over time, he lost control and the demon took over. The weight of his corpse has doubled.”

It was like he was there again, he could see the man in front of him, could feel the hot air on his skin, the smell of gasoline-

“What does that prove? I mean...”

“You haven’t seen him transform!” Ryo placed his head between his hands, rocking back and forth. “He didn’t even remotely look _human_.”

 “Hey,” Akira said, his hand on Ryo’s shoulder again. “Hey. It’s okay. It’s okay. You’re safe.”

“I’m _not._ That’s the point I’m trying to make, Akira! _Anyone_ could be a demon.”

“Yeah, I am going to give you a hug now.”

“Leave me alone.”

“You will get hugged now, Ryo-chan, whether you like it or not.”

Akira took hold of his wrists, carefully separating them from Ryo’s head. Ryo let him, but he didn’t want a hug. He didn’t need them.

“Just let me finish.”

“If I do, will you allow me to hug you for an excessive amount of time?”

“ _Fine_.” Where was he? “It proves that what I’ve seen was real. His body had become bigger; of course his weight had too.”

Akira started to stroke the inside of Ryo’s wrist with his thumb. Ryo didn’t understand why he was so... touchy all of a sudden. It’s not like they were- oh, wait.

He didn’t particularly _mind_ it; it’s just that he wasn’t used to being touched, and Akira didn’t consider that.

“Stop that,” he managed.

“Sorry?”

“Stop,” Ryo repeated, moving his wrist a little bit.

Akira let go of him altogether. “Should I not touch you at all?”

“No. Not now, at least.” Ryo put elbows on his knees, hands on the back of his neck. He stared at the ground. “Anyway. I studied Fikira’s notes afterwards; he had been keeping track of the devil inside of him – it seems that he was planning on getting possessed by a demon long before we set out on the trip.”

Somewhere, a door was opened. Ryo and Akira glanced at the stairs; the two girls were coming down.

“We’re grabbing a snack from the store,” Makimura said. “Anyone want anything?”

“Can you get me a bar of milk chocolate?” Akira’s eyes fell on Ryo. “You want anything?” He grinned. “Orange soda or something?”

“No, I still have some at home,” Ryo said.

“Really?” Akira raised his eyebrows. “I thought you liked it.”

“I do; that’s why I try to make it last longer.”

“Aw.” Akira was practically beaming at him.

“It’s orange soda and chocolate, then?” Makimura asked.

“Just chocolate,” Ryo corrected.

“’Kay.” Makimura turned to the other girl. “Let’s go.”

When the door closed behind them, Ryo asked: “What is the other girl’s name again?”

“What other girl’s?”

“It’s Makimura, and...?”

“Oh! Kuroda. Kuroda Miki. But everyone calls her Miko.”

Kuroda. Ryo tried to remember it this time. Kuroda.

“Okay, so, now that we are all by ourselves,” Akira pulled up his legs, crossing them, “You can finish telling the story.”

Ryo had been interrupted so many times he truly didn’t fucking know where he was supposed to continue.

“Where was I?”

“Uh...”

“Fikira, I said something about Fikira.”

“You said he was a demon by the time you went on the trip together.”

“Oh, yes. Somehow, he got possessed by a demon. He turned violent, tried to kill me, then set himself on fire. I read through his notes.” Ryo ran his fingers through his hair. “After a lot of digging, I could track down the place demons where the most likely to appear-”

“The Sabbath,” Akira muttered.

Ryo nodded. “Yes. Demons are attracted to sin.”

“...For example?”

“When humans let lose, when they stop caring about the consequences of their actions.”

Akira was fidgeting with his socks. “Hmm.”

Ryo mimicked him: he pulled up his legs, crossed them, and faced Akira. He was slowly getting to the part where he told about the reason they were going to attend.

“In these careless moments, the demons attempt to take over the human’s body.”

“Attempt?”

“In rare cases, during the battle between the demon’s and the human’s mind, the demon can lose. If a human’s heart is pure enough, they can easily overpower the demon. By doing this, they get to keep their human heart, but gain the demon’s strength and power.”

Akira smiled. “That sounds nice.”

“Do you believe me now?” Ryo asked, hopeful.

Akira sighed. “Not really.”

Ryo bit his mouth. How could he convince him?

The video.

Ryo reached for his laptop. Akira looked concerned.

“I’m okay now,” Ryo reassured.

He stared at the screen. Which folder could it be?

He searched for a good five minutes. The video was in a folder he had already checked when he got angry, he just didn’t notice it.

“I found it.”

Akira hummed. “Can I touch you now?”

“If you want to. Why?”

Because Akira wanted to press into Ryo. He claimed he ‘couldn’t see it properly’, but Ryo was pretty sure he was just making it up.

He didn’t call him out on it.

Ryo started the video. “It’s an amateur recording. A guy filmed some demons tearing a human apart.”

Akira frowned at the loading screen. “Are you sure this isn’t CGI?”

“You haven’t even seen the video yet. Besides, yes, I am. I know what I saw; this is just as real as Fikira’s transformation had been.”

The video started out with that weird music; it was driving Ryo mad, but Akira had to see this. A guy in dark clothing was rounded by two others; they tossed him a gun and a knife.

As the camera zoomed in on the human’s face, Akira suddenly leaned close. “Stop it!”

Ryo punched the space bar. “What? What is it?”

Akira pointed at the guy. “I _know_ him.” He looked at Ryo, eyes fearful. “Tell me this is a joke, tell me he’s actually okay-“

Ryo knew all too well that he wasn’t. He broke eye contact. “It’s real.”

Akira clicked on the play icon. His eyes were filling with tears, and Ryo didn’t know what to do- how was he supposed to know this would happen?

When Akira started sobbing, Ryo placed the laptop aside. Akira covered his face, tears rolling down his cheeks, shoulder shaking.

Oh. So _that’s_ how a person looked when they ‘needed a hug’. Ryo, rather awkwardly, attempted to hug him somehow. Since their legs were both crossed, there was too much distance between them, and because hugging someone when both of you were sitting was awkward, Ryo tried a different approach. He got up and hugged Akira that way. Still uncomfortable, but not as awkward. Akira didn’t return the touch, though, he kept his hands on his face as he cried.

Ryo couldn’t say anything that he felt was soothing enough in this situation. He could only wait it out.

After what seemed like an eternity, Akira let his hands fall to his sides. His face was a mess.

Akira got up, breaking the one-sided hug, wiped his nose. “I’ll get a towel or something,” he muttered as he went away.

Ryo watched him go. He hoped he was okay now- Seeing him upset made him feel bad. Knowing that it was done by something _he_ did made it worse. He shouldn’t have showed it to him, if only he had known-

Akira returned. He sat down again, but he didn’t say anything. Ryo didn’t know what to say, either.

“So what now?”

Akira started Ryo with the sudden outburst. “What do you mean ‘what now’?”

Akira threw his hands in the air. “Demons exist. Fine. I believe you. What now? What was the point of you telling me this?”

Ryo examined him carefully. He couldn’t pinpoint why Akira was angry _._ Was he angry at Ryo?

“I told you because I trust you,” he said, cautious.

Akira frowned. “I don’t... but...” He took a deep breath. “We started this whole conversation with me telling you I had a test on Friday, how on earth did we end up here?!”

Ryo cleared his throat. “The test is unimportant-”

“It’s not. It’s a big one. I have to pass it. I don’t know what _demons_ have to do with it, though.”

“Of course you do.” Ryo almost lost his temper. He dug his nails into his skin in an attempt to stay calm. “If demons aren’t stopped by someone, they will eradicate humanity. Your test won’t matter when that happens.”

Akira breathed in. “I don’t care. The thing I’m trying to tell you is that I can’t, under any circumstances, go to that stupid party. I don’t care if _you_ go, but _I_ can’t. Stop trying to manipulate me.”

“I’m not! All I’m telling you is that you have to set your priorities straight-”

“I _do_ have my priorities straight,” Akira interrupted. “I have a test on Friday, and if I don’t have time to study, I will fail it, get a shitty grade, and-”

“Why can’t you study on Wednesday?” Ryo asked. “Besides, if you just missed a school day you could take the test later-”

“ _Which part of “no” don’t you understand?_ ” Akira shouted.

Ryo pressed his lips together. “You’re only acting like this because you’re upset.”

“If you don’t stop talking over me, I’m kicking you out,” Akira threatened.

Ryo was just about to make the mistake of not shutting the fuck up, when the door swung open:

“ _We’re back_!”

Makimura had a plastic bag in her hand, Akira’s chocolate in the other. Her eyes flitted from Akira to Ryo, then back.

“Is... everything... okay?”

“We were in the middle of something,” Akira said. He didn’t try to hide the anger from his voice.

Makimura examined Ryo with a suspicious look. “Okay? What were you talking about?”

Ryo wanted to reply it was none of her concern, but Akira was faster:

“Demons. Partying. English tests.”

Ryo gave him a glance; Did he really just...?

Makimura set the bag on a nearby surface. “Alright, I guess. Here’s your chocolate.” She threw it at Akira. “Miko and I thought about seeing a movie, you wanna see too?”

“No,” Akira got up. “Ryo and I still need to talk, we’ll just go to my room.”

Ryo got up as well. He grabbed his laptop, in case he needed it.

Akira didn’t wait for his reaction, he just started off, up the stairs. Ryo followed him awkwardly. When he reached the first floor, he looked around. Where did Akira go?

“Come to the second floor,” Akira said from somewhere.

Ryo did. Akira was waiting for him, standing in front of a door that Ryo presumed lead to his room. He didn’t go any further, though, not even when Ryo was standing right in front of him.

Akira didn’t look at him, Ryo shuffled with his feet. What now?

After a while, Akira sighed and said:

“You really pissed me off, you know.”

Ryo didn’t know how to respond to that. Akira still wasn’t looking at him.

“I just don’t understand why...” Akira’s voice was frustrated, but he finally made eye-contact. “I really don’t get why you want to go to that Sabbath so bad.” When Ryo opened his mouth to explain, he went on: “And to be honest, I don’t even _want_ to know.”

Ryo tried speaking carefully: “If you just let me explain-”

“No, don’t.” Akira held up his hand. “I’ve had enough of you explaining things for today.”

Ryo only realized now that he had to let Thursday go. He didn’t want to. He had to hold himself back from trying to go on.

“Okay,” he muttered instead.

Awkward silence. Apparently, that’s not exactly what Ryo was supposed to say. Akira didn’t look angry anymore, just... disappointed? Sad? It was something negative, but Ryo didn’t know _which_ emotion it was. How could he make it up for him?

“What subject?”

Akira only blinked at him.

“The test,” Ryo added, “What subject is it?”

“English.”

“English,” Ryo repeated. The gears were grinding inside his head, trying to come up with something. “What if I...”

“What if you...?”

“What if I helped you study?”

Akira gave him an unkind look. “I already told you that Thursday was off the table, whether or not-”

“No, no!” Ryo waved with the hand that wasn’t holding the laptop. “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant... if you want, we can study right now, but I meant to study with you on Thursday.”

Akira was hesitant. “Well... I kind of already have a thing on Thursday that involves studying.”

“You do?”

“Yeah.” Akira rubbed his neck. “We spoke about this today at track and we agreed to attempt to grasp English together on Thursday, so, uh...”

Great. The only peace-offering that occurred to Ryo couldn’t be executed.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Awkward silence, but this time it was even worse.

“If...” Akira began.

“Yes?” _Please continue, please continue, please continue_ -

“If you want to study with me, though, my Friday is free,” Akira said. “It’s maths.”

“Oh. Yeah, okay. Friday. Maths.” Ryo felt like a fool for not being able to form a full, coherent sentence. “I can even pick you up, if you want.”

Akira nodded. “That’d be great. Miki can come too, right?”

“Huh?”

“You know, since we both finish at the same time, and we live at the same house...?”

Ryo didn’t want Makimura in his car. However, he was trying to make peace with Akira, and if he said Makimura couldn’t come, Akira probably wouldn’t either. “Sure she can.”

Ryo was getting really tired of the awkward silences that followed their conversations. Weren’t they cool now? What else could he say?

Nothing came to mind.

“You wanna go downstairs and watch the movie with them?” Akira asked.

Not really. “Uh... yeah... sure.” Fuck, he couldn’t hide the lack of enthusiasm from his voice.

Akira chuckled. “Yeah, I don’t either. How about I show you my room instead?”

Ryo nodded. Akira took a few steps, then turned around to him, extending his arms.

“You were promised a hug,” he said.

Ryo blinked at him. Oh. He wasn’t sure how to do that with the laptop in his hand, though. When he looked for a surface to put it down, Akira noticed it, took the laptop from him, put it on a shelf, and then embraced Ryo without further warning.

Akira wrapped his arms around the middle of his torso and put his head on his shoulder. Ryo didn’t know where to put his hands. He put them were he presumed they should go, but the gesture felt awkward and faked.

Hugs were mostly uncharted territory for him. He didn’t know how long they were supposed to be, or if he should say something while getting hugged? Akira was close to him, but it was a new, different kind of closeness. This was just... unusual. How was he supposed to feel while hugging? He wasn’t sure it felt like anything at all. How long will they go on doing this, gosh, this was getting awkward-

Ryo fidgeted a little, then Akira pulled away and let him go. Did he know that Ryo wanted to stop hugging or did hugs only last this long? Did the hug really last five minutes or was Ryo’s perception of time malfunctioning?

...probably the latter.

Akira smiled, but it wasn’t his usual smile. It made Ryo remember how an apology _actually_ worked, and he wanted to smack himself for not realizing sooner.

“I’m sorry, Akira,” he muttered.

Akira, upon hearing this, seemed more relaxed. “Apology accepted,” he said. He ran his fingers through his hair. “Anyway. My room is a mess, so sorry for that. Do you want to see a movie too, or study, or something?”

Ryo wished he wasn’t given multiple options. “What do _you_ want to do?”

“Both are fine, I mean, whichever _you_ prefer.”

Ryo contemplated. He wasn’t in the mood for movies. “Do you still have the energy to study?”

Akira nodded. “Yeah. It’s only like five in the afternoon. Besides, it’s always more fun when you’re doing it with someone else.”

As Akira went to open the door, Ryo retrieved his laptop.

Today had... not gone according to plan. Ryo felt anxiety creeping under his skin. When was the next time they could go to the Sabbath? What if it will be too late? What if Akira didn’t agree to go at all?

“You coming?”

Akira was tilting his head, examining him with a confused look.

“Yeah, of course.”

Ryo cleared his head. He’ll have the whole night to come up with a new plan.

He needed to be an English teacher right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Triggers:
> 
> -smoking:  
> -> the first two are fairly close to each other, the 3rd one is after a lot of paragraphs  
> 1)  
> between "He stood up, eyes closed, and went to the kitchen." & "The wind, little asshole, decided to blow just underneath his shirt,[...]";  
> 2)  
> between "Fuck the wind." & "Ryo wondered if the weird rushing he always heard [...]";  
> 3)  
> between " [...]the whole thing got jumbled up again." & "Instantly, there were dark spots [...]"
> 
> \- mention of drugs:  
> between these lines:  
> [...]“I need to ask you a serious question.”  
> “Go ahead.”  
> [///trigger///]  
> Ryo stared at him. “No![...]
> 
> \- short flashback to Fikira's death: one sentence, between "[...]The weight of his corpse has doubled.” & “What does that prove? I mean...”
> 
> \--------------------------
> 
> I didn't learn maths in my native language either, but thankfully I could continue in that language in high-school. The only problem was that the other students were only beginning to study maths in German, so the teacher always explained everything in my native tongue, and I legit had to ask her to repeat it in German because I didn't understand it. Took me 2 years to be able to understand it in my native too. I still only understand physics, chemistry and biology in German tho so :')
> 
> It will probably take me another or two months to write the next chapter, since I'm really busy with college and finals are coming up too, and I also write slower.  
> As you can see I also figured out how to make those curly quotes, it turned you only have to download the English grammar & spell check and it automatically makes it like that.
> 
> Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!


	2. An unsolvable problem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk how many people read this before (or if they even remember) but I edited a part that said Ryo had been 15 in his first year of college to say that he was 16 for plot reasons
> 
> very, very minor warning for one (1) line of implied transphobia from Akira's childhood that's not elaborated

Ryo was sitting in his car in front of Akira’s school.

He watched the students come out, hoping to spot Akira, Makimura and Kuroda.

On Tuesday, they had finished studying just when Akira’s foster parents and that Taro kid arrived at home, and not only did Ryo have to introduce himself and make small talk, Akira also mentioned that he would pick up him and Makimura on Friday after school, which ended in Kuroda joining in too.

The whole thing went down with Makimura very obviously trying not to murder Akira with her gaze after she had heard what he signed her up for (namely, having to sit in Ryo’s car).

The mother had mentioned being home early on Friday, and had even offered to come pick them up, which was the reason Akira had told her about Ryo’s lift in the first place. She had then made some jokes about being ‘uncool’ and ‘embarrassing’, until Akira mentioned Ryo would come to help him out with math. Then the parents seemed a lot more delighted, and even Kuroda had asked if she could come too then, because Ryo could ‘explain it so well’.

Which was... very weird. To say that to him. Ryo couldn’t wrap his head around it. Why did she say that? Did she mean it? Was that a compliment??

His goal for today was pretty much to just survive having to interact with so many people he didn’t truly know. Specifically, four people. Five, if the father arrived before Ryo left.

Shit.

He really wasn’t in the mood for social interaction today. He was feeling awful – he barely had any sleep in the past few days. He could only think about Akira. The thought that he could die- it was impossible to imagine that Akira might not exist anymore.

Ryo had to convince him about becoming a devilman ASAP, because time definitely wasn’t on his side in the matter. However, he had trouble controlling himself when things weren’t going his way. He knew this, but he didn’t know what to do with it. His only way of coping was to dig his nails in his arm or bite his lip, and those weren’t enough to stop him from raising his voice. Akira deserved better than that. Not to mention that he was less likely to listen if Ryo was acting immature.

He checked the time on his phone. Akira was two minutes late. It wasn’t a tragedy, of course, but to Ryo, it felt like an hour had passed.

He considered getting out of the car and smoking a cigarette, but when he looked at the entrance again, he spotted Akira. Then Kuroda, who was right behind him, followed by two other students Ryo didn’t know.

Akira looked around, clearly searching for Ryo with his gaze.

Ryo tooted a little. Akira, and other students nearby, flinched from the sudden sound, and casted those _who was the fucker who did this_ looks at him.

Akira’s face broke into a smile when he saw him, and Ryo’s heart sped up. It wasn’t the panicky kind of rhythm Ryo was used to; the only thing he felt was excitement.

He low-key thought Akira would still be mad at him, but Akira’s smile didn’t falter as he approached, not even a little bit.

When he opened the door, he greeted Ryo with a cheerful: “Hey, Ryo-chan.”

Ryo grinned at him. “Hi.”

“Hi, Asuka-kun.”

Ryo had almost entirely forgotten about Kuroda.

Ryo glanced at the backseats. Kuroda fastened her seatbelt. He expected Makimura to be in the back too (maybe she didn’t bother greeting him), but she wasn’t there.

“Hi,” Ryo muttered. He glanced at the entrance of the school, but he couldn’t see Makimura. “Where is...?”

Akira sighed. “She should be here in five minutes max. She’s speaking to a teacher about some scholarship.”

“Mmm.”

Ryo drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. Akira checked his email. Or his notes...? Something on his phone. He didn’t know what Kuroda was doing.

“So...” He had to try making conversation. “How’d your English test go?”

Akira put his phone away. “I have a good feeling about it. I think I aced it. I really needed that extra time to study.”

Yeah, Ryo deserved that.

“Great.”

He almost forgot to ask Kuroda too. He supposed he should turn backwards to her, but instead he just turned his head slightly.

“And what about you?”

“I think I should have slipped some ten-thousand bills alongside my test, not gonna lie.”

Akira snorted, Ryo chuckled awkwardly.

“Come on, it wasn’t that bad,” Akira said, turning backwards.

“Oh, easy for you to say that, group A always has the simple questions.”

Akira turned his whole body to her. “What, group B wasn’t that hard, either. You’re just going to stress and complain like you always do, then it turns out you got above seventy percent.”

“Yeah, but this time I _really_ messed up, I definitely won’t get a hundred percent this time.”

Akira huffed. He turned his head to Ryo, and gesticulated at Kuroda. “ _I won’t get a hundred percent this time_ , she says! Can you believe it?”

Ryo didn’t know where to look – Akira’s or Kuroda’s face. “Uh... yeah..? I mean, isn’t that the goal?”

Akira huffed again. “Nah, the goal is to pass.”

Kuroda leaned forward. “You have a bachelor’s degree, right?”

“...yeah.”

“And what kind of grades did you get back in high school?”

Ryo hummed. “Uh, mostly As and Bs. Sometimes a C, even.”

Akira gasped. “ _How_?”

“...I studied hard?”

Akira shook his head. “Wow.”

Kuroda poked Akira in the shoulder. “You could try that out sometime.”

Akira threw his hands in the air. “Dude, leave me alone!”

Kuroda snorted. She looked at Ryo. “You know what he does? He never studies, and then every time Miki-chan and I have to do a crash course for him, or let him copy our answers, and he spends the entire day complaining about how much he regrets not studying.”

Ryo looked at Akira.

Akira’s face reddened, he sputtered something and looked away.

“Is that true, Akira? You never study?” Ryo asked. He hoped his tone was teasing and not accusing.

Akira chuckled, embarrassed. “It’s not that I never study, it’s just that I can’t bring myself to it.”

“You always have enough time for it, you just keep procrastinating,” Kuroda said.

“But I _did_ study this time!”

Watching Akira defend his studying habits (or rather, lack thereof) was surprisingly entertaining.

“ _Besides_!” Akira pointed upwards and raised his arm, which promptly made Ryo laugh. “Teaching someone a topic is the _best_ way to learn it. How many times have I made you realize you didn’t know certain parts enough, which were then in the questions, huh?”

Kuroda laughed. “Fine, fine, I’ll give you that!”

Akira nodded, clearly pleased with himself. He was smiling, too.

“How do you two even get down to studying? I just... can’t start, no matter how much I want to do it.”

Kuroda shook her head. “You make it sound so deep, but you literally just have to sit down and do it.”

“Eh,” Akira said, mimicking that _wrong answer_ beep. “How do you do it, Ryo?”

Ryo shrugged, a little helpless. “Well, I was mostly interested in the topics, so it was easy to learn them. Literature was the only thing I hated, but even that was easier to tackle after I learnt how to find figures. I bullshitted my way through.”

“Mood,” Kuroda said. “Literature is just like that.”

Akira waved his hand. “But what if I _am_ interested in the topic and I still can’t study?”

“Then you’re fucked,” Ryo declared, “You just have to force yourself into it.”

Akira sighed. “And there I hoped you would share some big secret with me how you did it.”

“Did what?”

“How you got a degree when you’re only eighteen.”

Ryo bit his lip. “Long story. But if it comes to studying last minute, you have to make sure that your notes are done. If you start taking notes the night before at ten pm, you’re fucked. You can only make it if you start _memorizing_ what’s in your notes.”

Akira groaned. “But I can’t bring myself to do that, either.”

“Well, you will have to, sooner or later,” Kuroda said. “I mean, Miki-chan and I won’t be around to help you out in college.”

“Well, yeah, but...” Akira rubbed his face. “Ah, you don’t get it. I want to study, I know I have to study, and I literally spend hours thinking that I have to study, I take out my notes and hold them in my lap, and no matter how hard I try, I just can’t start it.”

“Ah,” Ryo muttered. “That one. Have you tried learning it in smaller sections, or something?”

“I did! I tried every studying tip there is, but it’s just not working.”

Ryo hummed. “Well, that sucks.”

“But I think I am making progress. After all, I studied a lot this week.”

“Yeah, but not on your own,” Kuroda offered. “You only studied due to peer pressure.”

Akira groaned. He glanced over his shoulder. “You just had to ruin it, didn’t you?”

Kuroda laughed. “Maybe you should just invite me over every day, I sure wouldn’t mind.”

Akira laughed too. “You know what, maybe I will.”

It was in that moment that Makimura approached the car. To Ryo’s surprise, she didn’t glare at him.

“Hi,” she said when she opened the door.

Ryo greeted her and started the engine.

Akira fastened his seatbelt and looked over his shoulder. “So?”

Ryo heard Makimura sigh. “Well, it’s a lot more work than I expected.”

Ryo started driving. There were barely any students left, so he didn’t risk running over someone.

“What do you have to do?” Kuroda asked.

“Motivational essay, get a recommendation letter, get my grades up. And then a lot of paperwork.”

“You’ll be staying with a family, right?” Akira asked.

“I think so. Not sure about that one.”

Ryo stopped at a red light.

“What kind of scholarship is this?” he asked.

“Oh, it’s actually kind of a competition,” Makimura explained, a lot kinder than Ryo expected. “If I get to the nationals, I can spend summer in Australia. It’s for a language course that lasts six weeks.”

“Ah,” Ryo muttered. “I see. What kind of competition, what do you have to do?”

“Read books and argue about it.”

Akira and Kuroda laughed, Ryo stayed confused.

“There are four books which she has to read,” Akira explained, “all of them in English, and then there is a debate about it. She tried it last year too, but she didn’t get so far.”

“Hey!”

Akira turned around and laughed. “What, it’s true!”

“No need to embarrass me,” Makimura said, and Ryo wasn’t sure if she meant it or not.

Akira chuckled, so Ryo guessed she was only joking.

Mostly Akira and Kuroda talked for the rest of the ride. Kuroda showed memes to Akira, who laughed so hard he got teary-eyed.

Ryo felt left out, but the feeling wasn’t overwhelming. Moreover, he was thinking about how he initiated conversation with Makimura on his own, and it... actually went well.

After they arrived and went inside, Ryo asked:

“How did the maths test go? You said you had one.”

“Ah, that’s next week,” Kuroda said.

Ryo fought the urge to blurt out _I didn’t ask you_. He had to be nice today.

Mrs. Makimura and the kid, Taro, were already at home. Taro was watching TV, the mother was doing something in the kitchen.

They greeted each other, then the four of them sat at the table, like last time. Mrs. Makimura was asking Makimura about the scholarship, but Ryo zoned out and focused on Akira taking out his notes instead.

“Still the same topic,” Akira said, putting the book in front of him, “and I still don’t really get it.”

Ryo nodded, and looked at the tasks. He had done his research, and he hoped he would have an easier time translating the vocabulary in his head than last time.

He also brought one of his old book which contained basic formulas for several topics, so he didn’t have to use his laptop.

“Okay,” Ryo muttered, “these are easy.”

Akira choked out a laugh. “Yeah, right.”

Ryo would have responded, but then Makimura and Kuroda stood form the table and went upstairs. They did mention where and why, but Ryo didn’t catch it.

They did say to start without them, so Ryo nodded to Akira. “Let’s do the first one.”

Akira opened his booklet, and Ryo was again baffled by the lack of any indicators of what he was trying to write down.

“Why do you leave out the symbols?”

Akira glanced at him, then at his booklet. “Well... I can either take notes or listen to the explanation. I can’t do both at the same time.”

Ryo nodded, even though he didn’t know why that was so hard. Math had never been a real problem for him, after all. He couldn’t always understand everything on the first try, but it never occurred that he didn’t grasp a single thing. To be honest, he didn’t know why people had so much trouble with maths.

“Alright...” he muttered, and took one of Akira’s pens. “Show me how you would solve the problem.”

Akira grinned, but it looked forced. “That’s a really bad idea.”

Ryo started clicking the pen.

“How am I supposed to know which parts you don’t understand?”

Akira pursed his lips. “Fair enough.”

Ryo watched him, occasionally clicking the pen again.

“Could you stop that, please?”

Ryo hummed. He leaned closer to Akira when he began to write. It was the number of the problem, and then he kept squinting at the task without starting to solve it.

Ryo suspected he had no idea what he was doing. “Let me see.”

Akira let out a relieved sigh as he handed the book over.

Ryo went over the task with him, step by step.

After he finished, he looked at an Akira who seemed entirely lost. “Do you get it?”

“...kind of.”

“That’s good. We’ll work on that.”

Ryo turned a page.

“How about, for the second task, _you_ tell _me_ what to do, hmm?”

Akira made a comical scared face. “If I must.”

It didn’t really work out as Ryo wanted it to – Akira really was entirely unfamiliar with the topic.

“I just can’t find these connections! How am I supposed to know these things?”

Ryo sighed inwardly. He had to be calm and patient. “Let’s just try again, okay?”

Akira didn’t look too eager. He sighed. “Alright.”

Ryo chose a task from the beginning of the topic – those were always the easier ones, so he figured it would help Akira understand.

“Come, this one is easy.”

Akira leaned closer.

“Okay,” Ryo said, “so we have a cube, the edges are 5 cm. We put a sphere inside it, and one outside.”

“What do you mean, outside?”

“I mean...” Ryo pushed some hair out of his own face. “There are two spheres, one inside the cube, and then we put the cube inside the other one.”

“Ah.”

“And they ask for the volume of these spheres.”

Akira didn’t respond, so Ryo looked at his face. Akira just stared at him in confusion.

“But... but... but... how am I supposed to do that?” Akira stuttered. “How am I going to calculate that? I only have the length of the edges.”

Ryo nodded. “What you have to remember is that they always give you enough information to solve the task.”

Akira made a choking sound. “Fuck math.”

“Come, I’ll show you.”

Akira looked both relieved and desperate. “But you showing me won’t help me figure it out on my own. That’s my exact problem.”

Ryo hummed. He reached for his book with the formulas. “It’s okay, you’ll get it. I’ll show you the connection, so you understand.”

Akira shook his head, mouth in a frown. “God... if I can barely get the easy ones, how am I going to pass the test?”

Ryo didn’t know what to say.

Mrs. Makimura came into the kitchen. “How’s your homework going?” she asked Akira.

Akira groaned. “We haven’t even started yet, Ryo is still showing me the basics.”

Ryo wasn’t sure whether that was a passive-aggressive statement that was directed at him. He chose to believe that it wasn’t. Akira was not the kind to do something like that… at least, Ryo hoped so.

Mrs. Makimura came closer and inspected the book. “Oh, I remember this one. I hated it, too.”

Akira covered his eyes with his hands and leaned back on his chair.

Mrs. Makimura put her hand on his shoulder. “You’re doing great, Akira.”

Akira’s groan was muffled by his hands.

Mrs. Makimura took a seat next to him. “Come on.”

Akira removed his hands, gave her a confused look. “Why did you sit here?”

Mrs. Makimura smiled. “What, can’t I stay?”

Akira smiled a little. “Alright, fine.”

Ryo was very uncomfortable. He couldn’t exactly pinpoint why. He felt like he wasn’t here in the room, but at the same time, he was _very_ aware that he existed. It was a weird feeling.

No, he got it wrong. What made this whole thing weird was that he felt like he was intruding. He didn’t participate in their conversation, and he wasn’t even sure whether he was allowed to listen – they didn’t make eye-contact with him, and didn’t address him. But they were sitting close, so…?

Ryo decided to evict himself from the situation, and started examining the book in his hand.

“Okay. How do I solve this?”

Ryo kept staring at the book of formulas in his hand, trying to find something interesting on the simple, yellow cover, while acting like he was not hearing what they said.

“Ryo-chan?”

Ryo flinched. “Yeah?”

Akira pointed his chin at the book in Ryo’s hand. “How do I do this one?”

“Oh, right. Yeah.” Ryo wanted to disappear. “I’ll find the correct formula.”

The next five minutes passed with them… well, Ryo wasn’t sure how to describe it, and it annoyed him. Everything annoyed him. The task was really easy, and he couldn’t understand why Akira didn’t get it after being told how to do it. Akira kept frowning at him and asking questions, but after a time Ryo wasn’t sure if his tone was accusatory or angered or if he was just reading too much into it.

After Akira had written down the whole thing, he just stared at it.

Mrs. Makimura hummed. “This reminds me of when your mother and I used to do our homework together.”

Okay. Now, Ryo was pretty sure that he was excluded from the conversation.

He didn’t know what to do with himself.

Akira made a sound that expressed he was listening to Mrs. Makimura.

“Kaori was really great at math,” Mrs. Makimura said, “but not me. She always tried to explain the logic behind it to me, but it didn’t help too much. You know, I think what made it so hard for her is that she always understood these things, and she never knew what it felt like to be lost.”

Akira rubbed his cheek. “So, basically, I should just give up.”

“No!” Mrs. Makimura reached out and grabbed his hand. “Akira, that’s not what I said.”

“I know,” Akira muttered. “I’m just tired.”

“Take a break, then,” Mrs. Makimura squeezed his hand. “Really. You deserve it. And then you two will get back to it later. Don’t feel guilty about it.”

Akira nodded. “Alright. Would be a shame if we _accidentally_ forgot to continue, huh…”

“Well, _maybe_ try not to…”

“I was joking!” Akira got up from his seat.

Ryo snapped back to reality, and got up too.

Akira led him upstairs. They passed Makimura’s room, and Ryo heard quiet chatter, but couldn’t make out the words.

When he entered Akira’s room, he was blown away.

“I see you tidied up.”

Akira laughed, rubbing his neck nervously. “Yeah... it was time for it, and I didn’t want to embarrass myself again.”

Ryo hummed. He didn’t know where he could sit, so he went to the nearest drawer and looked at the framed pictures.

There were three of them, all in dark frames.

The first one had Akira and his parents in it. It had to be a more recent picture, seeing that Akira looked around twelve. It was a restaurant – they all sat at a table, the table cloth was red-white checked, and they all had desserts in front of them. Akira had ice cream, his mother a waffle with whipped cream, and his father a cake. They all looked at the camera, smiling, though Akira had a spoon in his mouth. He was in a dark red shirt. Akira always had a thing for darker things, Ryo guessed.

The second picture had Akira in it again, but much younger. To Ryo’s surprise, he was in the picture too, along with two other children. That meant that Akira must be around five or six years old. No, no, he had to be five, because his hair reached to his chin – his parents wouldn’t let him have his hair cut shorter than that at the time.

They stood on a concrete ground, parts of chairs and tables could be seen on the edges of the picture. It had to be some kind of event, probably something to do with sports, as they were all clothed in sports clothing – white shirts and white pants with coloured hems.

The third picture was the most recent one. It was Akira and the two girls, Makimura and Kuroda – they were all dressed up nice, holding papers in their hands. Ryo guessed it was taken on the day they graduated middle school.

Akira came closer to him. “Do you remember that one?”

He pointed at the one that had Ryo in it.

Ryo shook his head. “No.”

Akira took the picture. “It was a junior track event. Miki, Miko and me registered, but we needed a fourth member, so we invited you.”

Ryo examined Akira’s face as he looked at the picture. Akira was smiling, thinking of fond memories, but Ryo truly didn’t remember it.

“Ah.”

“I mean, it was more like Mom and Dad ‘forcing’ us to take you as the last member, since you had to come along anyway, but you know what I mean.”

Ryo nodded, frowning.

“We almost won.”

“Almost?”

Akira laughed. “Almost,” he repeated. “You were the anchor, but you didn’t understand something so you wouldn’t take the baton and the other teams outran us.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

Akira smiled at him. “Doesn’t matter anymore.”

He set the picture back.

“Miki did cry for some time and complained about you, though.”

Ryo didn’t know how to react to that, so he didn’t. He pointed at the other two pictures.

“What about these?”

Akira didn’t reach for those, like Ryo expected him to.

“The one with Miko and Miko was about a year ago, it was our last day of junior high school together. We didn’t know if we’d end up in the same senior high school, so that was kind of our parting piece, or I don’t know.”

Ryo nodded.

“The one with my parents was when I was eleven, I think,” Akira continued. “They took me abroad for the summer. The picture was taken on our last day together.”

A few seconds passed, and Ryo thought he was finished talking, but then Akira went on:

“That summer is still the most time I spent with them since they left me.” A pause. “I mean, since they left.”

Ryo hummed. He wasn’t sure what to do now. Akira looked at the pictures, he seemed to be somewhere else.

Ryo cleared his throat. “How long did it take to clean your room?”

Akira snapped back to reality. “Oh, about... two days.”

“Two days?”

“...yeah... I had to dust every surface and take off the shit from the top and clean those too, ugh, it took forever. Then I had to vacuum and all.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” Ryo said.

“Do you remember how my room looked like last time?”

“You had to pack up a lot of things before you let me in, yes, I remember.”

“Yeah. I had to actually put those things away, though.”

Ryo hummed. “Well, good you got around to doing it.”

“Uh-huh.”

Ryo wanted to look around further, but Akira tapped his arm.

“Hey, you wanna talk?”

“Yeah, sure.”

They sat on Akira’s bed, closer to each other than necessary. Actually, Ryo sat at the end of the bed, and Akira came close.

“I want to talk about what you said last time, about demons and whatnot,” Akira said.

Ryo hummed. “I thought we were cool?”

“We are. I just thought about it and I still don’t understand why you told me?”

“Oh.” Yeah, he didn’t get to the ‘ _Here’s an idea: let’s become devilmen!_ ’ part. “I can tell you now.”

He squirmed in his place a little, and decided how to tell him about it. “The thing about demons,” he started, “is that they have learnt how to maintain a human form after possessing their bodies. _Anyone_ you know could be a demon. That’s why they are so dangerous – you never know who you can trust.”

“But how would you know?”

“You can’t-”

“No, I mean, how would you know that there are so many demons?”

“Oh.” Ryo readjusted his sitting position. “There have been people going missing at a higher rate and crimes with no explanation are getting common.”

“Yeah, but I mean...” Akira exhaled. “Those could be due to other reasons, too.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, but I don’t think that proves that it’s demons doing those things.”

“Remember the video I showed you?”

Maybe that wasn’t the best thing to mention, but it was too late now.

“I do,” Akira whispered.

Ryo nodded to himself. “You see, the demons who had done that have taken over the bodies of everyday people. You couldn’t tell until they transformed, could you?”

Akira sighed. “No, I couldn’t. But-”

“The point I am trying to make,” Ryo interrupted, “Is that in order to protect humans from them, their strength will have to be matched.”

“Huh? Protect? Who will protect them?”

Ryo realized that he was looking at his hands, not at Akira’s face. It happened all the time, he knew he always forgot to look people in the eye, and yet he couldn’t make a habit out of it.

He looked up at him now and grinned. “ _We_ will protect them.”

Akira only blinked at him in response, successfully wiping the confident grin from Ryo’s face.

“How would we do that? Even better: _why_ would we do that?”

“Well...” Why was it so hard to talk? “Because the government isn’t doing anything about it. They want to keep people in the dark.”

Akira made a doubtful face. “Couldn’t that be for good reason? Like, for example, not wanting to cause a panic?”

“That’s _not_ a good reason. People deserve to know what is going on.”

Akira sighed. “Right, right. And what do you want to do about it?”

“Easy,” Ryo said. “If we attend the Sabbath, we can become devilmen. We will be able to match the demons’ strength while retaining a human heart. We will be able to get rid of them.”

“So what you’re saying is that we should go out and kill some demons.”

“Not exactly, but yes. We will need evidence to convince people about their existence, so we will need to film them. It will only be safe to do that if we know they can’t hurt us.”

“So... the video you have isn’t enough for that?”

Ryo stared at him. He had a point.

“No,” he said after some time. “People will need more evidence than that. One video isn’t enough.”

“Well, then I don’t believe in demons either,” Akira said, laughing.

“That’s different,” Ryo said. “You knew that man, you knew that he had gone missing. If I put that up without anything, people will believe it is fake.”

“Yeah, I guess you can’t just get a file from the police, or something.”

“No.”

Akira played with a piece of thread on his shirt. “Hmm. Okay, and what would becoming a devilman mean? You said it happened rarely. Have you ever seen a devilman, or only demons?”

“Fikira was trying to become a devilman,” Ryo explained. “But he had lost control down the line.”

“So it is a constant battle with a demon that you can still lose?”

“No. The human either loses or wins; there’s no in-between. However, the time that the demon needs to defeat the human’s mind isn’t set in stone. That’s why Fikira needed months, while, say, someone else would only take two seconds.”

Akira hummed. “And how can you defeat the demon?”

“Either by having a pure heart,” Ryo said. “Or by having enough willpower.”

Akira hummed. “So... you think you have enough willpower to defeat a demon?”

Ryo nodded. “And _you_ have a pure heart. A demon will be no match for you.”

Akira nodded, deep in thought.

“So...” Ryo examined his face. Akira didn’t look angry. “…you _will_ come to the next Sabbath with me, then?”

Akira shook his head. “Listen, Ryo-chan, I understand your reasons, but the risks are too high. What if I can’t defeat the demon? What if the Sabbath is on a school night?”

“What if a demon comes after your family and you won’t be able to protect them?” Ryo countered.

Akira shook his head again. “There can’t be so many.”

“There _will_ be many demons soon enough,” Ryo warned.

“Okay, it feels like you’re trying to scare me into doing this.”

“I’m not. I’m only saying that not becoming a devilman will have negative consequences a lot sooner than what you expect.”

“Alright, but then I can deal with the problem later, no? If I see a demon, or if it threatens my family, _then_ I will go to that party with you. _Out of necessity_. Otherwise it has more drawbacks than advantages.”

Ryo groaned. “Why can’t you see how important this is?”

Akira sighed. “God, not this again. Listen: this is not important to _me_. I don’t want to go to the Sabbath.”

Ryo opened his mouth to protest – then let it go, no matter how frustrated it made him. He could only hope that he had enough time to convince Akira about this, to make sure he was safe. He had to come up with a different tactic.

“Alright.” Somewhat begrudgingly, he added: “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

Someone knocked on the door. “Are you guys coming back to study?” It was Makimura.

Akira looked at Ryo questioningly.

Ryo sighed. “Yeah, fine, let’s go back.”

They spent the entire evening solving tasks. Apparently the test was going to be really hard.

Ryo decided that he hated their chairs – he was always uncomfortable on chairs anyway, but on these ones, he couldn’t even use his leg as a cushion. It was awful.

He helped Akira as much as he could – Makimura and Kuroda understood everything, but Akira needed more time. At some point Kuroda had begun to help explain the rules to Akira, and by now she had completely taken over from Ryo.

Ryo didn’t mind so much – he was burnt out.

“Okay,” Akira said, “so what do I do now?”

Kuroda made a gesture with her pencil. “You just add them together.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah.”

Akira shook his head in disbelief. “So,” he muttered to himself, “seven and six, that’s ten, so thirteen-”

Makimura leaned forward to him. “Wait, what?”

Akira looked up. “Is seven plus six not thirteen?”

“It is,” Makimura said, frowning, “but why did you say ten in the middle?”

“I…? First made the seven a ten, and then added the rest of the six?”

Kuroda tilted her head. “Why? Isn’t it harder to split up the six? Why would you do that?”

Akira held up his hands. “I just added two numbers together! It’s not that deep!”

Makimura shook her head, laughing. “But why would you make it a _ten_?!”

Akira laughed back, though Ryo didn’t know why. “I don’t know! It’s more logical that way!”

“No, it isn’t!” Kuroda said.

Akira shrugged. “Leave me alone, you assholes.”

The other two laughed, but they did leave him alone after that.

Now that they were finished with everything, Ryo started getting his things. Akira and the others talked about something, but he didn’t pay attention. It was time to leave.

The others packed too. They continued talking.

Mr. Makimura, who arrived home about an hour earlier, came to them. “So, Miko, you sleeping over?”

Kuroda nodded, “Yeah.”

Makimura stood up. “I’ll handle it, Dad, this is not the first time she does this.”

Mr. Makimura made a gesture that Ryo didn’t understand. “Can’t I make casual conversation with your friend?”

“No,” Makimura said, “you absolutely can not.”

Ryo realized he was lurking again. He turned his attention to the books on the table, but it wasn’t too interesting.

Maybe he should just leave.

“Akira?” Akira looked at him. “I’m leaving.”

Akira’s expression made something, but Ryo couldn’t tell for the life of his what it meant. “No, wait.”

“Why?”

Akira touched Ryo’s arm. “Would you like to come with us tomorrow?’

Ryo frowned. “...what? Where?”

“There’s an event,” Akira explained. “I mean, not an event really, but- so, we go hiking every weekend if the weather is good. It’s actually very nice in the forest. We go to a certain spot to make fire and have lunch there.”

“…okay?”

Akira laughed. “I’m asking if you want to come, too.”

Ryo froze. “Uh… I, um.”

“You can sleep over too, if you want.”

“Yeah, um.” Ryo’s brain switched into panic mode. Over a goddamn invitation. He hated this. “I don’t know, I mean- I…”

This was the point where he notice more people were watching him stumble over a simple decision. It would have been really great if that had encouraged him to finally answer yes or no, but it just made it even harder to decide.

What if he said yes and had a horrible time? He didn’t know these people at all. But if he said no, Akira might be hurt.

“Do you have anything to do tomorrow?” Akira asked.

“No.” Ryo should not have said that. At all. He literally just made everything worse.

Akira smiled. “Well, then, do you want to come?”

Ryo really, _really_ wanted to say no. But that would mean he didn’t want to spend time with Akira. Well, he did want to spend time with Akira, but not with the others. And he knew that was impolite.

Ryo shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”

Why did he add that last part? Goddammit, he was fucking it all up!

“You can also say no,” Mr. Makimura said.

It was so out of nowhere that Ryo almost jumped.

Mr. Makimura was smiling, but Ryo didn’t know what was funny. “Really, it’s fine.”

Ryo really, really wanted to not be here. Why couldn’t they stop giving him options and let him stick to one? Because he was pretty sure that if he said no now, it would be bad.

“It will be fun!” Akira said.

In this very moment, Ryo hated Akira.

“Akira, he clearly doesn’t want to come, don’t pressure him,” Mr. Makimura said. “It’s fine,” he added, for Ryo, “this is really last minute, too.”

Ryo grinned, but he felt so awkward that he was about 95% sure that the expression wasn’t genuine. “Yeah, it’s…” He didn’t know. “Maybe next time.”

He got up. “I should go now, though.”

When he was finally out of the house, he almost sighed in relief. He held it in, though, because Akira came out with him to the car.

He thanked him for the lift and the tutoring and hugged him goodbye.

Ryo thought he hadn’t done the best job, though. Not just in the math part. He couldn’t convince Akira about the demons again, and it seemed he would be unable to do so for a while.

He dreaded that if this kept going on, Akira really would only give in if he got personally involved in the situation. But the problem was that if he got attacked, there was a very low chance for survival.

Ryo didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t just try to convince Akira about it every time they met, even if the matter was serious.

He could only hope that Akira changed his mind soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I only posted this because I knew that if I don't do it right now I'll edit it 'til the end of time. I really wanted to finish all chapters before I started posting again but it seems that's not my fate.
> 
> I put a lot of smol details into this chapter and idk if they stand out to readers as much as they stand out to me but man, no wonder it took me so long to finish this chapter. I'm mostly satisfied with how it came out, so it was worth the time :D  
> I want Akira to take a longer route to "give in" so that his choice is more informed & sorta more meaningful than in crybaby canon, and to give him more autonomy  
> Ryo will get more involved in Akira's life, and I can't wait to write more of his interactions with people other than Akira, but also I can't wait for scenes when it's just the two of them and hsjfvklsv why am I only inspired to write fic when I have to study for my finals
> 
> anyway, thank you for reading! I appreciate if you leave me kudos & comments!


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